Quirky Quek

Irregular. Irrelevant. Irrational. Sometimes irresponsible.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Do you know what you want?


I'm already 26 years old, and I am STILL bothered and frustrated sometimes because I do not know what I want.

Do I want to stay in my present job?
Do I want to stay single forever?
Do I want to eat that piece of chocolate?

Actually it is best not to decide on anything, and see what the course of nature takes you. Pondering on something for too long is no use if the tide wants to take you to the opposite direction.

I wonder how people stay in the same job for decades. Don't they get bored? Is their job really that fulfilling? Or is it because they are easily satisfied. As long as it is enough to put the bacon on the plate, and to stay alive huh?

But there is more than just earning money. It is about doing something that I can be proud of while earning enough money to make me happy. But wait. What is ENOUGH? There is never enough money. *Oh! $1 million liao, enough lo... too much wait how to spend?*

Yah right. 1 million will lead to the desire for 2, and 10, and a hundred, and so forth. Even satisfaction is boundless. Today I create a book that I am so proud of, so what's next? A bigger book? More awards? So many awards...I wanna grab them all?

Hiyah... the endless pursuit of excellence. Especially when there is comparison. There are plenty of people out there who are 26 and own cars, property, companies, country club membership, fame, nice chiselled features, great physique, colourful social life...

I see so many buses that pass by me while I sit at the bus stop. Do I flag them and see where they take me? Or do I just take that same bus that I take every other day?

I told you I do not know what I want.

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